Poop


There are several things I had never ever done before coming to Rwanda. Building a road was one, staring a dead pig in the eye was another. And cleaning gorilla poo off my trousers is another.

Last Sunday I became the ultimate tourist in Rwanda by going gorilla tracking. This is the best of Rwanda – people (admittedly those interested in primates perhaps) come from all over the world to see them here. This corner of Africa is the only place in the world where mountain gorillas exist in the wild. They live on one mountain – the west slope is Congolese, the northern slope is Ugandan and the South and Eastern side are Rwandan. In fact, the sign language sign for Rwanda is 5 beats to the chest, imitating a gorilla!

So at 6am I stood ready with my enthusiastic grin alongside Americans and Norwegians who had heavy trekking gear, waterproofs, pocketted hats and trousers (which can be unzipped at the knee and at the mid-shin too – just in case) and little dangly things you put over the ankles of your very expensive beige outfits you bought specially because you were coming to Africa and that’s what you do...

Anyway, to cut to the chase, we had two military guards with us who cut through the bamboo forest as our guide communicated by radio to the professional trackers who had been out searching for the gorillas since 5am. There are many different groups – and there are many rules too. 8 to a group, once you get there, you stay for an hour only, and you cannot get within 7metres distance. Keep quiet. Don’t point because the silverback might think you’re pointing at his hot bit of stuff. And we all know how jealous males can get...

So after almost 2 hours of hacking through bamboo forests, tredding in gorilla faeces (“fresh this morning!”) and climbing down river gorges and being hoisted up the other side (this is about as inelegant as you can get) literally by the seat of your pants, we came to a clearing. With a munch and a chew and a grind we came accross this family of wild gorillas, happily stuffing their faces with the leaves and grasses surrounding them. There were 22 of them – including the silverback – a mean looking beast who apparently ‘stole’ this family by beatng off the silverback who was in charge before he took a fancy to the lovely ladies that make up the group. There was even a 1 week old baby, and plenty of young ones running around, falling out of trees and beating their chest. Every so often one would wander near us, and the guard would hiss at us to get back, keep our distance – just in case. Meanwhile the gun was cocked – again, just in case.

The funny thing? They were so human! Staring at each other, swatting away the flies, the inquistive stares at us, these strange beings that had come along to watch as they ate, the young ones giving each other a slap when they got annoyed.

These brilliant beasts share 97% of our DNA!